50 Shades of Abuse Flyer - Canada
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Okay. I understood all the flack Twilight got for being an abusive relationship. Because it was and it was being read by a very young and impressionable audience. But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. Iit is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticizedfiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.
so i guess you didn’t read the parts where he coerces her and the part where he continues after she has used her safeword and acts like a fucking creep whenever they aren’t having sex
it is the worst possible introduction to BDSM i could imagine
i know my shit okay
im hoping the people defending this book are 1. never getting into BDSM 2. not currently into BDSM 3. havent read the book bc i dont want to believe anyone is that fucking stupid
knowledge on you right now.
Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.
So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.
Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive asshole who really can’t take no for an answer.
Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should fucking know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.
Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a fucking contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her asshole and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me fucking started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.
Fuck. This. book. It’s written in a shitty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstand, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.
And this post is going into my bookmarks, because it is beautiful.
What scares me most is the fact that people, misinformed and ignorant people, will now try to enter the community/find play partners with the dangerous ideas of what BDSM is. They won’t respect a sub, they won’t listen.
And that can seriously hurt people. People can DIE.
Totally not surprised that this stuff’s in 50 Shades. It was a Twilight fanfiction before it was this book. So it’s the abusive relationship that was aimed at teenagers turned to one aimed at adults. It’s amazing that the parallels between Twilight and 50 Shades is so strong. Same plot of innocent girl falling for dangerous boy. Same relationship dynamics. Different audiences.
What amazes me, aside from everything mentioned above (don’t worry are great things to hate), if it started as a fanfic, it’s a BAD one that got published. Here’s the thing that gets me. Given the information given above, why didn’t the author research this shit? Even FANFIC WRITERS research this shit when writing their works. The good ones do, anyways. Novelists, good ones, do that too! It doesn’t require to go out into the field, if you don’t want. But, you know, a Google search can work.
If she did her research, then she obviously distorted some things for her own entertainment, and that’s terrifying that she finds this bullshit sexy or romantic, if that’s the case.
Thank you anon! :D
also sorry for the late response, you know the drill, no internet, hell, blablabla
Here are my very lame sex headcanons:
- Maka tries to be on top as much as possible, not only because Soul thinks it’s super sexy and they both enjoy it a lot, but also because it makes her breasts look bigger. She’s still a bit self-conscious about them, though Soul tries his best to let her know he likes them exactly as they are (aka hella lot of breastplay, the guy pretty much worships his meister’s tits).
- They find it extremely entertaining and arousing to try and get each other off in public places, though it’s very frustrating because they always seem to get interrupted before either can finish. Soul is pretty sure that Spirit knows exactly when his daughter is trying to give Soul a handjob under the table during a meeting because his glare seems even fiercer that usual.
- Maka forsakes wearing panties when they’re flying/driving to a remote location and she’s sure there won’t be anyone else around; it drives Soul insane because he knows she’s discreetly trying to get off either on him or his bike.
I’m stealing this one from that nsfw language headcanon thing that went around a while ago it should be on my blog somewhereAt the start Maka is too shy to talk dirty in a way Soul can understand, so she instead she sometimes bursts out in Japanese while they’re doing the do and leaves Soul wondering at what she’s saying also he thinks she sounds like the girls on that hentai stuff he once stumbled upon but he doesn’t tell her thatuntil he asks Black*Star and gets a stern if-you-hurt-Maka-you’re-dead lecture and a hearty slap in the back because anyone who can get Maka to say that kind of stuff deserves his respect.
Aaaaand I’d say some more but my internet time is nearly over. Thank you for the ask! <3
SIGNAL BOOST THIS NEWS! Seriously, how come this isn’t all over tumblr? Angelina Jolie presided over the largest ever global anti-rape summit. She is using her celebrity for good. She is addressing rape in wartime and in conflict zones, which is where it is perpetuated on the most massive scale and in which context always has been used as a weapon.
Feminists of tumblr should get behind this woman. Let’s stop the perpetual erasure and trivialization of women in the media through their sexualization and start looking at the work that they do. Her acts here are easily in danger of being eclipsed by her image in the tabloids which is more concerned with her relationship to Brad Pitt and the fact that she is a sex symbol than the important feminist work that she is performing RIGHT NOW.
I am such a fan of this lady… and she does not deserve to be trivialized for being a woman, a sex symbol, and a celebrity. Here, she is working for social justice for women all over the world. She’s doing what’s right.
OH MY GOD SO I WAS WATCHING SUPERNATURAL LIKE SEASON TWO WHERE THERE WAS A CREEPY HOTEL AND THE LITTLE GIRL HAD AN IMAGINARY FRIEND AND DEAN POINTED OUT A PICTURE OF A LITTLE GIRL AND WHEN THEY SHOWED THE PICTURE I FLIPPED OUT CAUSE
THATS MY GREAT GREAT GRANDMA AS A CHILD
[Images: A comic about a girl who had a dream where a man told her how to make 1000 paper stars and get a wish. Unlike most kids, who would’ve started right away, she only made a star when she felt lonely or sad. It helped, for some reason. We see her growing up, with no close friends, and the jar of paper stars filling more and more quickly as she gets older. Eventually, on a night where her mother missed her birthday because she had to work late, the girl makes the 1000th star. The man from her dream appears and says he can take her away from this life where she’s invisible, but she simply invites him in to talk with her, because she doesn’t need “to run away from problems or a white knight”, but she just wants a friend.]
Full version of my comic Counting Stars, which I drew for a competition.
This is kind of really beautiful
saw this when she first posted it and rolled my eyes
but it has taken an unexpected (and pleasant) turn